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He was angry. He was driving so closely behind me that I
could see the tightness in his face, the way he kept his eyes hard, the lids
more closed than open, his mouth a thin emotionless line. He gripped his
steering wheel with the same tightness, his hands at the top of the circle so I
could see those, too. I wondered if he was off in his imagination, fighting an
unfinished fight, so I tapped my breaks. He braked, too, but without waking
from his angered slumber. Instead, he moved closer still. His eyes even
more determined.
The man I met on the road today was stuck in a state of being.
A state of anger. And as hard as I tried to avoid it, it was starting to suck
me in, too. Stop tailgating me! What is
your problem? Get off my ass! I was falling. And fast. I took a deep
breath.
I don’t want to be in this state.
I don’t want to feel
anger.
I know the world is a
good and kind place
And I know the only
way to live in a good and kind world
Is to make it so,
myself.
I stopped the car at the next stoplight
And I walked back to his car, to his angry eyes.
He rolled the window down.
Half way . . .
“I know you are a good man.” I said, in my most authentic
and tender voice. “And I know . . . know . . . you have a good heart. But when
you follow me so closely I don’t get that feeling. I feel bad. And I
know you don’t mean to make me feel bad. Because you are a good man. A
kind man." I reached out and squeezed his shoulder with all the love I could find in my heart. "If you want the world to be kind to you," I said, before I left, "you have to be kind to the world.”
And do you know what he said in return?
“Bless you. Bless you. Bless you,” over and over again, his
eyes looking at me with pure gratefulness, no longer tight and angry, but soft
and filled with tears.
* * *
When the world is angry, we can join up forces and fight it
off with still more anger.
Or we can take a breath and draw from our hearts, to give
love to those who need it the most.
I choose to live in a
good and kind world
And I know the only
way to live in such a world
Is to make it so,
myself.
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