A Friday morning with Fernando, my Spanish language partner, in the library of San Miguel de Allende, a colonial mountain town in the heart of Mexico:
"Lo siento, Brynne but I cannot meet you on Sunday morning. Sunday I go to church. How about Sunday afternoon?"
"Si, si," I said, "no problem. But wait...church? Fernando, I thought you said you weren't sure if you believed in God. Then why do you go to church? To be convinced?"
He giggled. "No, no." He sighed, his eyes looking down, then suddenly straight up, into mine. "You want the truth?"
I nodded with an eager smile. It was hard not to smile when Fernando was around. He was such a kind human being. And besides, his English accent was adorable.
"I go to church because the church is filled with old people. I do not like church, and true, I am not even sure if I believe in God. But, maybe I do not like church just because I am young and not yet wise. Old people are old, and many are also wise. If old people think church is worth going to, then I must trust them. They have little time and yet still, they go. I have lots of time so its even more important that I go. You see, Fernando wants to be the best man he can be so he listens to the old people."
We are all getting older every day. The question is, do you experience aging as a degradation? Or do you experience it as a process of sage-ing, growing into the wisdom that you always were? In the United States, most people usually associate aging with a sense of degradation. But in many places in Mexico for example, the elderly are revered, honored, held in the highest esteem. And why? For the simple reason that they have walked where we have yet to tread. They have seen and felt and experienced life with a depth (not always, but many times) that only comes with age. Degradation may be the physical face of aging but the soul's face of aging is very different. Its softer, gentler, and yes, wiser.
"Lo siento, Brynne but I cannot meet you on Sunday morning. Sunday I go to church. How about Sunday afternoon?"
"Si, si," I said, "no problem. But wait...church? Fernando, I thought you said you weren't sure if you believed in God. Then why do you go to church? To be convinced?"
He giggled. "No, no." He sighed, his eyes looking down, then suddenly straight up, into mine. "You want the truth?"
I nodded with an eager smile. It was hard not to smile when Fernando was around. He was such a kind human being. And besides, his English accent was adorable.
"I go to church because the church is filled with old people. I do not like church, and true, I am not even sure if I believe in God. But, maybe I do not like church just because I am young and not yet wise. Old people are old, and many are also wise. If old people think church is worth going to, then I must trust them. They have little time and yet still, they go. I have lots of time so its even more important that I go. You see, Fernando wants to be the best man he can be so he listens to the old people."
* * *
We are all getting older every day. The question is, do you experience aging as a degradation? Or do you experience it as a process of sage-ing, growing into the wisdom that you always were? In the United States, most people usually associate aging with a sense of degradation. But in many places in Mexico for example, the elderly are revered, honored, held in the highest esteem. And why? For the simple reason that they have walked where we have yet to tread. They have seen and felt and experienced life with a depth (not always, but many times) that only comes with age. Degradation may be the physical face of aging but the soul's face of aging is very different. Its softer, gentler, and yes, wiser.
* * *
My Wednesday Wish For You?
My Wednesday Wish for you? To transform your idea of aging (and maybe someone else's) by listening to an old person this week, a sage. Maybe someone you know, maybe someone you do not. But someone that you feel needs to be heard. Ask them their advice about that question on your mind. Invite them to share what they wish they would have known when they were younger. Tell them what you fear and let them tell you if your fears are worthy to be honored for many minutes or very few. And if you can't get out to find this older soul who has so many messages for you, then stay right here, with me. For there is a lovely sage filled with wisdom waiting for you at the end of this movie with beautiful words and pictures, and just...for you. Hope you enjoy. with love, Brynne
12 comments:
Dear Brynne, I always seem to leave here with a greater sense of wonder than when I came. Some young people (like the little girl in the video here) are old souls, with far more wisdom than some in old bodies. I like to listen to both children and old folks. Thank you for this stirring message today. Why go to church? To be around old people, why else?! You have inspired me to spend more time with my friend Katie, who is in her mid eighties. Also, I haven’t visited with my old friend Jane in a long time. I must have needed this friendly reminder! Bless you!
Brynne, I think this tradition of respecting the older generation is very Latin. As you know, I come from a Spanish family on my mother's side, and we were taught at an early age to worship the ground my granny walked on. I did without reserve because like you mention, I thought she was a sage. And like Fernando mentions, I always figured she knew best because she had more experience. As a result, my best life lessons have come from my nana. Gosh, I miss her! Now I look to my mother to provide me with wisdom but it's never the same. My nana was unique and I guess my expectations are high. I think your post has served to make me realize that my mom may also have valuable lessons I can learn from. I shall try to listen more with my heart! Hugs for you!
Dear Brynne - you always find the right words for the right place - a real gift you bring to us all.
And just because you are you, and you make my day brighter every time you stop by - I have given you The Readership Appreciation Award...
http://jobryantnz.wordpress.com/2011/12/09/thank-you/
;)
Our society must make it right and possible for old people not to fear the young or be deserted by them, for the test of a civilization is the way that it cares for its helpless members.
- Pearl S. Buck
Happy holidays, Brynne! :)
That is a lovely story Brynne. I wish more people felt that way.
Hi Brynne,
This is so beautiful! The video was captivating (gotta love Ted Talks!) and I particularly love this: saging NOT aging! I'm all for that!
;-)
Lori
Soo...did you go see Katie, Debra?? And what about Jane?? I am sorry I haven't written sooner....went on an unexpected trip and it always takes me a while to get back into my rhythm. You are so right about old souls inhabiting young bodies...isnt that one of life's most beautiful gifts...hearing unexpected childhood wisdom? You know, every time you visit, Debra, you give me some new morsel to play with, ponder, admire. Thank you, dear soul, for sharing you with me!! Love and happy hugs!
I think you are right, Bella...the saging is a very Latino tradition. I learn soO much here in Mexico, you know.
Do you ever hear your Nana's wisdom now? Does she visit you, Bella? With her voice? With her scent? With her spirit? I bet she does. And do you have an altar for her? I love to see altars in homes all over town...not just on the day of the dead but all year. Energy, wisdom, does not ever die, just transforms, no? Like Einstein said...energy cannot be created or destroyed. When we see how it grows so much deeper the longer we listen, and that odds are...the elderly had more time to listen, more time for that wisdom to seep into the very fibers of their being...we listen more intently to them, respect them more deeply, maybe even love them with a more open heart. We're all in this together, arent we:) Thank you for sharing Bella...as usual, you get me going...excited about life and living and of course...love:)
JO!!! What an HONOR!! I am soOo very sorry I havent thanked you before now!! I am soOo honored to be given not just the award but your words...they mean soOo much to me. Thank you, beautiful friend. Thank you from my heart.
What a beautiful quote, Sam...and soOo perfect for this post. Thank you, sweet friend. Thank you for caring as you do, for sharing your time with me/us here.:) Happy holidays, beautiful soul. Wishing you and your family all the magic in the world.
Thank you, Deniz. I wish more people felt that way, too:) Always a pleasure to find you here, dear soul:) Hope all is well in your world!
Thank you for your kind words, Lori! It makes me happy to find you here!! Hope you come back and comment again soon! WIshes for a beautiful week, bright spirit:)!
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